Molly's
by AoifeRose
Summary: Erin and Amanda discuss their lives post the crossover episode and they realise they have a lot in common. Some real time references to the crossover but nothing major.*New chapter post second crossover*
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: I had to write this – it's been in my head since the first crossover. I'm still writing Wicked and Take Me (and yes for the purposes of that it does feel like Amanda is about to cheat – I started to write Olivia a lot of times before I wrote Erin!) but I had to get this out of my head!**

"I saw the way that little girl threw her arms around you Erin, your voice, the way you reassured her. If I put another toe outa line I'll be waiting for you to come take my job"

Erin laughed as she bumped Amanda's shoulder with hers, almost losing her balance on the high stool. Thankfully the older detective managed to keep them both upright.

They were in Molly's and it was quiet, a few barflies propping up one end of the bar and Hermann serving but other than that the place was empty. The whole squad and the visiting detectives apart from Olivia had gone there after they'd closed the case but Amanda and Erin had stayed long after the rest had left, busy talking about everything from the professional to the personal to the exclusion of almost everyone else in the bar.

"Your boss, Benson, she seems smart, the good kind of smart?"  
"Liv is a great cop. She's no one's fool. We butt heads sometimes but a lot of the time it's because I want to do quick and aggressive and she wants to take the slower approach. She's right most of the time, I'm learning that gradually. I need to reign it in"

"And she has a kid? I don't know how she does it"  
"Yeah Noah. He's adorable. We rescued him from… ugh, do you know what I don't even want to go back to thinking about what we've just been through, but lets just say a similar fate to those kids"  
"To Tommy" Erin said quietly.

"He got out Erin, he's gona have a life now, with you and your Mom". She covered Erin's hand with hers on the table, reassuring her that her words held weight.

Erin guffawed and Amanda had done it enough times to know what it meant so she rephrased her sentence.

"He's going to have a life now, with you and with your Mom, when she's around"  
"You really get it?"  
Amanda nodded "My Mom drank like it was going out of fashion. I lost count of the number of times I had to half drag her from the porch into bed"

"When mine disappeared it was actually the beginning of my life"  
"Tell me to shut up if it's none of my business but Voight took you in when that happened?"  
"Uh-huh" Erin nodded as she swallowed the last mouthful of the vodka with lime she was drinking.

"He seems like a good guy? A little unorthodox, but good"  
"He was like my Dad. You know from the files that Tommy went into foster care. But Hank saved me. Him and his wife became my parents. They're the reason I'm alive"  
Amanda took a moment to contemplate the Hank Voight she'd met, the hard as nails, no nonsense detective who got things done with no one questioning his methods. Then she thought about him rearing Erin and she understood some of where the younger detectives backbone came from.

"He did a good job"  
Erin smiled, the first proper smile Amanda had seen since they'd been in Chicago. She was strikingly beautiful, as the low lighting of Molly's caught her golden hair. Her green eyes sparkled when she laughed. Amanda caught herself staring and shook her head slightly. It was empathy, what she was feeling was empathy, nothing more.

"How did you get away?"  
"Uh, I… well I got a job with Atlanta PD early on and got far enough away to make my own trouble in life, so only one part of home kept following me?"  
"Your sister?"  
When they'd spoken about Tommy earlier they'd talked about the after effects of all he'd been through and Kim came up in conversation.

"Yeah, she has a habit of popping up unannounced and ruining anything you think you might have built that resembled a life"  
Their hands had remained joined on the table and Amanda hadn't noticed until she felt Erin's fingers close around hers.

"She sounds like hard work"  
"She is, or was. I don't know where she is right now. After the last time she ran I almost lost it all. I could say I don't care if I ever see her again, and it's partly true. But I'd be lying if I said I wouldn't care if she were dead. I'll always care about her"  
"I kinda feel like that's where Tommy and I fell apart. When we were split up we weren't really sure what being brother and sister was about. We didn't get the whole loving your family thing. With Dad gone and Mum drinking we were the grown ups. We never really had that bond"  
"Well you have the chance to have it now Erin. You can have everything I had, hopefully minus a large degree of the drama. All sibling relationships require some drama though"  
Amanda downed the last swig of the whiskey she was drinking.

"I don't know how you drink that stuff"  
"Easy when there's nothing else. It was all you could get in some..." Amanda hesitated for a moment; her gambling wasn't something they'd talked about. But she trusted Erin Lindsey and she wasn't going to keep secrets from her. "In some of the places I used to frequent"

Erin arched an eyebrow, not quite sure if she was interpreting what Amanda was saying correctly and wanting to hear it for herself.

"Underground clubs, some illegal. I gambled; I'm in the program. Six months without a bet"

Erin removed her hand from atop hers and Amanda felt it almost immediately; it stung. Only for a moment though and then she smiled as she realised that Erin was forming a fist with her hand and holding it at chest level.

"Fist bumping really? Oh you'll make a perfect partner for Fin. He'll love you"  
She bumped fists with the smaller detective and laughed when Erin pulled it back into a flare wiggling her fingers.

"Six months is nothing to be sneezed at Rollins. Good for you. And I am not gona steal your job. You're a good cop, you gota give yourself a break"

"I keep trying, just seems when I do I go a bit too easy on myself and end up back at square one"  
"No one in New York to keep you on the straight and narrow?"  
"They try. Fin is always there. And Olivia fired me before when she found out I'd gotten involved in something I couldn't get out of"  
Erin opened her mouth to ask but Amanda held up a hand.

"That is a story for a whole other round of drinks detective"

Erin nodded a faint smile crossing her lips.

"Apart from your squad, no one else looking out for you? Nick maybe?"  
"Amaro? God no, he wishes" Amanda laughed but she saw a look flash across those green eyes, something akin to lust. The jolt it sent through her caused a g to run down her spine.

"You cold?" Erin's question was one of real concern.

"No sorry, someone just walked on my grave"  
Another raised eyebrow which Amanda was starting to find quite an adorable quirk of the soft-spoken detective.

"An old saying my Mom used to use. I actually think it was another debt collector calling at the door as opposed to someone on her grave. But I never said it for fear of getting a belt for something I actually deserved as opposed to the ones she gave me for no particular reason"

"I think the most severe one I got, which she actually tried to justify a few years later to me, was the time I was 8 and she punched me in the stomach, knocking me into a wall. I had told her that I'd gotten into trouble with the neighbour because I'd knocked over a flower planter. She accused me of doing it deliberately to get attention brought on us so someone would call DCFS and have us taken away. 15 years later it was the same justification she tried to use. Luckily Voight taught me a thing or two about self-restraint otherwise I'm pretty sure I would have knocked her into the middle of next week"

"Mine was when I was about 9 and I brought my friend Katie home from school without warning and she was drunk at 3 in the afternoon. She laid into me with a belt telling me I was a devil child for brining someone into her home without her permission. Of course it was the fact Katie had seen her slurring her words that really bothered her. Katie's parents were well off and we were friends purely because of similar tastes in music. The thought that Katie had gone home and told her rich parents about her being drunk bugged her senseless. I never brought another friend back there"

They sat in silence trying in vain not to think about their childhoods; neither managed it. But there was solitude in the silence.

Eventually Erin looked at the empty glasses and up into blue eyes, "Mine for a night cap? I'm not sure I'm ready to stop drinking but I will if I have some company"

Amanda nodded knowing the feeling all too well.

"Yeah sounds good, so long as you have whiskey?"

Erin laughed, "I think there's some in a very dark recess of my cupboard"

They grabbed their coats Amanda helping Erin into hers and bid farewell to Hermann as they headed out into the cool night air.

They walked for a few minutes, Erin interlinking her arm with Amanda's as they waited to trip across a cab. When one pulled up Erin gave her address and smiled at Amanda, setting off a flurry of butterflies in the blonde's stomach. 'Empathy, it's empathy' Amanda repeated in her head.

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"Wow this is a really nice place you got"

"Thanks. Believe it or not I tripped across it on the job. Gross as it sounds, it's hard to rent out an apartment once there's been a double homicide there. But I figured since we caught the guy who pulled the trigger it was safe enough"

Amanda wasn't sure that was quite how she'd choose an apartment but for the space Erin had compared to her small apartment in Ney York she might just consider it.

"Hope he's still locked up?"  
"Yup, two life sentences"

"Good, I feel… safer"  
"What you mean big bad me with my gun wasn't enough to reassure you?"  
Erin tried to project a strong stance with her chest puffed out and her hand on her gun. It only made Amanda laugh.

"If that's the best you can do I think I'll take my chance with the murderer"  
"Thanks". Erin's next sentence was muffled as she moved towards the kitchen area so Amanda followed her.

"Sorry I missed that"  
"Sorry I forget sound doesn't carry in this place. I said it might take some doing to root the whiskey out"  
"It's ok Erin I'm fine with beer"  
"No I couldn't possibly say I got you here under false pretences".

Amanda thought to herself that there was every possibility she was already here under false pretences but she just smiled.

"Honestly beer is fine"

But Erin wasn't paying attention. Instead she'd hoisted herself up onto the marble counter and was kneeling up to see into one of the cupboards.

"I generally keep the hard liquor out of reach so I know I really need it if I have the …" the end of her sentence was cut off as she began to wobble, her knee slipping from under her on the counter. She braced her arm against the cupboard but her knees were not cooperating with her attempt to steady herself. Her leg began to slip and with nothing to grip she began to fall. Amanda was behind her 3 seconds later, arms open, ready to catch the falling Detective Lindsay. When Erin felt the blonde's arms around her she relaxed from the tenseness that had take over her body when she thought she was falling.

Then she felt the warm arms that had caught her tightening slightly as they lowered her to the floor.

"My knight in shining armour" Erin's eyelids were lowered and she was staring at Amanda's lips, moving to stare into her eyes seconds later.  
"I try". Amanda blushed as she felt green eyes trying to read her.

"Rollins, tell me if I'm totally off, but I… Naw, never mind I'm probably…"  
"You're not," Amanda said quietly.

She watched a small smile play across the dark blonde's features as she leaned in to kiss her gently.

"Huh" Erin said as they pulled away "That was… nice"  
"I'm gona have to up my game" Amanda said, only half joking.

Leaning back in she captured the younger woman's lips, this time in a far deeper kiss, mouths opening and tongues beginning to explore as hands roamed. Amanda felt Erin's hands roam inside her jacket and down to rest on her hips, slowly but surely working her shirt out of her jeans as she continued to kiss her.

Amanda moved her hands up to the base of Erin's neck, intertwining her fingers in the curls at the base of Erin's neck, gently massaging her scalp, causing the other woman to moan into her mouth.

Pulling away for only a second Erin looked at the NYPD detective.

"We're going to have to take this to my bed"  
Amanda simply nodded taking the hand offered as they made their way upstairs to the bedroom. Erin was eternally grateful she'd managed to make the bed that morning, an old habit but one that served her well in situations like this.

Standing in the dim light of the room the two women resumed their exploration of each other's mouths and bodies, their kisses becoming more hungry, their touches moving further into unchartered territory as the passion continued to build.

Amanda was the first to break away her face serious as she looked at the younger detective.

"Are you sure about this? I don't usually do this kind of thing, but we just kinda clicked this evening"  
Erin leaned in gently raking her teeth over Amanda's earlobe "I'm sure"

The husky answer sent another shiver down Amanda's spine. She shook visibly and Erin smiled knowingly.

"That's what happened earlier in the bar wasn't it? Nothing to do with debt collectors or graves; you were turned on".

Amanda found herself blushing again "Was it that obvious?"  
"Not then, but now yes. I suppose I'll just have to get to know your body a bit better to know what elicits that kind of response"  
Amanda groaned as she felt a hand cup her jaw and Erin pulled her in for another kiss. Their hands started to remove clothes, neither seeming to notice or seek permission but both wanting to see and feel more of the other.

When Amanda's hand cupped her breast for the first time, her thumb playing with her nipple, Erin's head dipped, her gaze fixed on the long delicate fingers.

She watched as Amanda's mouth replaced her fingers and the underwear was progressing from slightly damp to definitively wet.

Amanda lavished the same attention on her other breast as she reached for the fly on the smaller woman's jeans, opening it and beginning to push them down toned legs. Amanda took a minute to resume kissing those soft lips she'd become quite fond of.

Between kisses she felt Erin reach down and unclasp her bra, the cold air hit her nipples and made them instantly hard. Erin took advantage of it, pinching them slightly. Amanda yelped into their kiss causing a wide smile to grace Erin's face, her dimples a perfect way to shape it.

"Think that's funny do you?"  
"Uh-huh"

"Hmm we'll have to see how you like it so. Amanda mirrored Erin's action pinching her nipples, but it gained a very different response from the other woman, she moaned, deep and guttural as Amanda twisted the hard buds between her index finger and thumb

"Good to know for later" she whispered and Erin moaned.

"Really, you're going to leave me hanging"

Taking her hand Amanda walked them to the bed, Erin managing to step out of her jeans on the way.

"Not for much longer" Amanda winked as she lightly pushed the smaller woman onto the bed.

Taking a hold of her hips, Amanda held Erin at the side of the bed, placing open-mouthed kisses on her lower abdomen and then over her panties, smiling as she noticed the wet patch on the blue boy shorts. Kneeling beside the bed she reached for the elastic at the top of the underwear and began to pull it down long tanned legs.

"Thinking sexy thoughts were we detective?"  
"If you mean was I thinking about you fucking me until I screamed that would be a yes"  
It was Amanda's turn to moan at the idea that she was about to do just that. "Patience darling"  
"I have none left, I need you now Amanda"  
She had had every intention of drawing this out and toying with the younger woman a bit but she changed her mind instantly when she heard the plea in Erin's voice.

"Ok baby. Talk to me ok, tell me what you need"  
Erin nodded forgetting Amanda couldn't see her head.

"Ok?" Amanda asked again. This time Erin verbalised her "yeah".

Amanda started out with some broad flat strokes of her tongue across Erin's lips placing a quick kiss on her clit causing hips to rise off the bed. Amanda held her in place however and moved her tongue inwards, using the tip to work between her lips, lapping at some of the wetness that their earlier play had generated.

She felt fingers in her hair as Erin encouraged her to stay where she was for a minute. Her nose was nuzzling softly at her clit as she licked in small circles with her tongue. This was building arousal in Erin's body like she'd never felt before. She knew she was going to be a mess by the time she came but she didn't care.

"Uh, Amanda, inside, please, I need you to fuck me hard"  
Amanda slipped her index finger in, checking how far she should push. She had nothing to worried about however as copious wetness coated her finger. She inserted a second and began as slow in and out movement, building the speed as she felt the grip on her still tied up hair tighten. She knew Erin wasn't going to last much longer so she began to curl her fingers forward. Taking her now rock hard clit into her mouth she began a sucking motion and as she did both in tandem she felt the first spasms of orgasm from the other woman. Erin's walls gripped her fingers tight within her. She continued to suck on her clit until she felt the hold on her hair loosen, when she replaced the sucking with gentle licks to assure Erin she was still with her but she knew she'd cum.

When she eventually stood she kissed her way back up Erin's legs, along her stomach up her chest and eventually she found her mouth. The younger woman had just about regained her sense of being and she shifted on the bed so Amanda could lie beside her as she continued to kiss her.

When she finally spoke Erin's voice was slightly shaky "Jesus, that was…. Wow"  
Amanda laughed, "I hope that was a good appraisal"  
"That was most definitely"

Amanda reached out and tucked some of the stray hairs behind Erin's ear at the same time Erin reached to pull her closer, taking the bobbin out of her hair so she could run her fingers through the long blonde wavy hair properly.

"God you're so fucking sexy"

Amanda looked away not used to taking compliments, but Erin forced her to look at her by tilting her chin up. "I mean it Amanda, you are beautiful"  
"Eh, have you looked in a mirror lately?"  
"Yeah but you know what, we never see ourselves the way others do. Well I know I don't. So if you don't trust your own assessment of yourself trust mine, and by the response you just got from touching me the way you did I'd say it's pretty evident you are as beautiful as I said"

Amanda leaned in to kiss soft pink lips, in part because she needed to and in part because she wanted to shut the blonde up.

"I know that trick Rollins, it doesn't work on me"  
Erin held both the blonde's arms above her head as she climbed on top of her. As she settled Amanda could feel her wetness coating her lower stomach and it made her wetter than she already was which she didn't think was possible.

She saw the glint in green eyes and moaned as she felt Erin's fingers travel from her breastbone, down her abs, to her belly button and eventually between their bodies. Leaning forward so her own body was no longer blocking her, Erin reached the vee between Amanda's legs and encountered wet heat the likes of which she'd never felt before.

"You're gona have to show me some mercy, cause I cant deal with teasing right now. I need to feel you inside me"  
The sudden intake of breath as Erin entered her without warning was enough to let her know she'd taken the detective by surprise.

"Like that?" she husked innocently. Amanda's nod was imperceptible as she felt the fingers inside her scissor gently, filling her and making her insides melt.

"You feel so good" Amanda could only nod again; words seemed to have deserted her.

She moaned loudly when the tip of Erin's thumb found her clit. She began to run some small quick circles around the hard bud causing the walls around her fingers to tighten but not quite tipping the blonde over the edge.

"Let go baby, I've got you" Erin whispered quietly into the room.

"Uh, up here, please"

Erin complied moving so she was face to face with the woman she was making love to.

Erin smiled as she reassured Amanda again "I've got you"

Amanda's body seized as she trapped Erin's fingers inside her, wetness coating her palm as the blonde detective came hard.

Erin kissed her intermittently allowing her time to breath. She stayed inside her for a few minutes, allowing Amanda to be fulfilled properly before she removed her fingers.

Rolling off the taller woman Erin opened her arms and watched as big bad Detective Rollins turned towards her and allowed herself to be wrapped in a warm hug.

"Wow that was amazing!". It was the first coherent sentence Amanda had formed in twenty minutes.

"I'm glad you had fun detective"

"I had more than fun Erin. I'm serious I don't do this very often. I hope you don't think this is some kind of one time thing and I'll forget it when I leave"  
"I was hoping not, but I wasn't sure" the younger woman admitted, a hint of worry in her voice.

Blue eyes met green as Amanda kissed Erin soundly "You can be very sure of that"

Amanda resumed her place lying on Erin's chest listening to her heartbeat.

"Are you working tomorrow?" Amanda asked  
"Not if I can help it"

"Good, my flight isn't until the evening. Can we just stay here until then?"  
"Sounds like a plan"  
Erin wrapped her arms tightly around Amanda, kissing the top of her head as they drifted off, the feeling of no longer being alone strong in both of them.

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**A/N Ok now that is out of my head I can go back to the other two stories I've been writing. I just had to do that! **


	2. Chapter 2

**Ok so I normally don't do this – once I finish a story it's done – but the crossover needed a follow up to Molly's 1 so here is part 2. There are spoilers for the second crossover between CPD/SVU (4/30/2015) so please don't read if you haven't seen it! I started writing it before Wednesday's Chicago PD (5/6/2015) so that hasn't happened – it's taking me way too long to finish this – I just kind of wanted it to be perfect! Also I'm still working on Take Me (Chapter 20 is up and running) this just kind of got in the way after the crossover – sorry! **

The cold night air bit into her hands as she tried to locate the gloves in her pockets. Then she remembered they were in her car. She needed to burn that car. Taking her phone from her jeans pocket she reread the message.

"_Sorry I couldn't make the bar. Paperwork had to be signed off on. I'm home now. Come over whenever."_

Erin touched the screen, running her fingers over the words, which brought her some small comfort as she hailed a cab. She heard Voight behind her emerging from the bar, talking to Olivia. She turned briefly to wave to them both. Her Seargent nodded and Olivia waved both returning to their conversation a moment later. Erin hoped that Hank and Seargent Benson could see what had become obvious to others; they would make a good couple. Interesting because as Fin had put it, "I'm not sure who has bigger balls" but good nonetheless.

Giving Amanda's address to the driver when a cab finally pulled up Erin rested her head against the headrest, closing her eyes as silent tears fell. She wasn't sure if they were ever going to cease. All she knew right now was she needed Amanda's arms around her to stop the feeling that she was falling with no end in sight.

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She knocked hesitantly, confident she had the right apartment because she'd been there once before, but unsure what to say when Amanda opened the door. They'd crossed paths briefly at the station with barely time to acknowledge each other before all hell broke loose. Since then they had only seen each other in passing.

There was a skittering noise behind the door and an instruction from Amanda to Frannie to "Go lie down".

When the door opened she noticed that Frannie had obeyed and was lying on a beanbag in the kitchen. Erin was looking past Amanda deliberately because she was afraid if she looked directly at her she might just fall apart. But Amanda knew the trick well, used it often in her own life to get out of difficult situations.

Stepping forward only slightly so she was directly in Erin's eye line she opened her arms and felt the younger woman fall into them, the sobs wracking her entire body.

Slowly Amanda backed them into the apartment and towards the sofa. She managed to sit down awkwardly angling herself in such a way that she could hold Erin fully against her. It was the only reassurance she could offer. She'd never felt so powerless. Stroking sandy coloured hair she placed gentle kisses against Erin's temple and forehead, whispering soft words of reassurance and gentle promises that she would be there.

"I've got you sweetie. It's ok. I'm here, you're safe". Amanda heard herself saying it and she tried to believe it. But after all they'd seen over the last 5 days she wasn't sure even she believed any of it anymore.

They stayed like that for a time, Amanda moving only slightly so she could stop the arm of the sofa digging into her back. Erin moved with her burying her head lower into her chest as she did. Amanda could feel the tears falling onto her skin. Stroking her fingers up and down the smaller woman's back she eventually rested her hand on her lower back intermittently wiping the tears from pale cheeks with her thumb.

When Erin's breathing returned to normal and her body stopped shaking Amanda placed a gentle kiss on top of her head. Erin sat up so her head was resting on Amanda's shoulder as Amanda's arm moved lower to circle her waist.

Her voice was shaky and husky as she spoke "I'm sorry, that was… I'm sorry"

"Ssshhh, don't be sorry, there's nothing to be sorry for darlin"

"Fuck I just… what the hell happened?"  
Amanda knew that Erin didn't want an actual answer; she wanted a reason, some rationale for losing one of her closest friends.

"I wish I knew. I really do. He was…. I've met a handful of psychos since I started in this job. He was the worst. Barba made the jury see that. I only wish we'd seen it sooner"  
"We had him in Chicago. If it wasn't for my birthday… Why did she do it? I told her not to throw me a dam party. If she hadn't gone to get that stupid cake…", tears began to fall again and Amanda pulled her close.

"This is not on you. It will never be on you. She was trying to make your day special"  
"I don't give a fuck about special Mand, I want my friend back". The bite in her voice was intended to hurt but Amanda knew the harsh tone was simply because she was hurting so badly.

Erin's body began to sag as the impact of the last few days hit her like a train.

"You need some sleep hon"; Erin didn't have the energy to argue.

Standing up Amanda took the other woman's weight and walked them towards the bedroom. The one light that illuminated the room was extinguished as she flicked the light switch on the way out of the living room.

Her bedroom was a mess; she hadn't been there for longer than 8 hours in the last week. The overflowing hamper and unmade bed were of no concern to either woman as they shed shirts, jeans, and boots.

Amanda removed her bra leaving her in a baby blue string top and white and blue striped boy shorts. For Erin unhooking her bra was too much like hard work. She attempted it but her arms fell to her side in defeat. She felt arms encircle her moments later as the blonde unhooked her bra and helped her out of it leaving her in a dark red tank top and black panties.

Taking Erin's hand Amanda walked them towards the bed and allowed her to settle in a comfortable position before joining her.

"What way do you want to sleep?"  
Erin thought for a moment. She'd dreamt about seeing Amanda again, it had been three months since she'd last visited Chicago. They chatted via Skype but she dreamt about what it would be like to see her, to touch her, to hold her. In all of her dreams she never dreamt the first thing she'd do would be fall into her arms and cry until her head hurt.

"Hold me?"  
Her voice was so unsure it broke Amanda's heart. Erin seemed so small as she moved behind her, moulding herself against her back, resting a hand on her hip and kissing the back of her head.

"Sleep baby. I'll be here; when you need me, I'll be here"

She felt small tremors as the last of the day's tears fell into Erin's hair and onto the pillow.

"Ssshhh, it's ok baby"

"Is it?" Erin asked quietly through the tears

"It will be"

The feeling of falling finally stopped as Erin relaxed back into the body holding her – protecting her.

They didn't speak again; the only communication was through soft touches and kisses. Eventually Erin's breathing slowed down to an even rhythm as exhaustion took over. Amanda stroked the skin of her hip and side as she fell into a fitful sleep.

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**4 days later**

Amanda came home to the strains of "Hold Back the River" playing around her apartment.

Erin was lying on the sofa in a shirt belonging to Amanda and a pair of her own jeans, her feet bare, her blonde hair splayed across the cushion her head was resting on. Her eyes were closed but she raised her hand in a small wave to acknowledge Amanda's presence. Ever the cop the existence of another person in the room, eyes closed or not, was not going to escape her.

"_Hold back the river let me look in your eyes, _

_Hold back the river so I,_

_Can stop for a minute and be by your side,_

_Hold back the River"_

Amanda loved the song and the echo of the strings at the very end sent a shiver down her spine.

She sat down beside Erin and the sofa and leaned down to kiss her softly.

"Hi"

Erin smiled, the sad smile that had graced her lips for the last few days, but a smile nonetheless, and all she could manage right now.

"Hi you"

The phone on the coffee table vibrated but Erin ignored it.

"Voight?"

"I'd guess. This is the fifth time he's rung in the last 2 days"

"He's worried about you hon" Amanda checked the display to ensure it was indeed Hank Voight. The picture of his stern face staring back at her from the screen told her he was calling from home.

"I know but I spoke to him yesterday. Told him I'm fine. Told him I'd be back soon"  
"You know it's not giving you time off he's concerned about. He's your Dad for all intents and purposes. He just wants to make sure you're ok. He loves you"

Erin nodded reaching for the phone.

"I'm gona call him real quick, just let him know I'm still alive…" The words stuck in her throat and Amanda placed a hand on her tummy, rubbing gently.

"I'll order some food. I didn't get time to shop"

Erin nodded as she reached for her cell. "Hank?"

Amanda left, walking into the kitchen to ring the take-out. She felt bad there was nothing else to offer Erin but she was up to her neck in paperwork so this was the best she could do.

She felt arms around her waist a few minutes later as she finished washing the few dishes in the sink.

"I was gona do those after dinner"  
"It's ok. I didn't want to seem like I was eavesdropping on your call"  
"He told me he talked to you today?"  
"Yeah, he was worried you were putting on an act. I told him you weren't but he didn't seem convinced"  
"He's never convinced that I can handle myself. He finds it impossible to stop seeing me as the 15 year old scared kid he saved"

"It's only because he cares" Amanda turned taking Erin into her arms kissing her temple as she rested her head against her chest"

"I know he just drives me insane sometimes"  
"Well you've a few days to work it out of your system before you go back"

Erin sighed. The thought of going back to Chicago and never seeing Nadia again made her sad in a way she'd never experienced before. She had had a lot of loss in her life but she couldn't erase the image of Nadia's body on the beach, exposed and alone, left there to rot by that monster.

She shivered again and she felt Amanda's arms begin running up and down her own.

"You cold?"  
"Naw… well maybe a bit". She didn't want to worry Amanda more than she knew she already was. Amanda was hesitant to leave for work in the morning, checked in at least twice during the day and did everything but send a babysitter to sit with her when she wasn't there.

"I'll get you a cardigan"

Erin nodded returning to sit on the sofa staring at the photo of Nadia that she'd kept after the trial.

She touched it, as if hoping that the touch would in some way help her remember her friend. She felt like she was already forgetting her. She dealt with death and loss all the time in her job but the reality of it had never hit her this hard.

She felt tears threaten but she bit the inside of her mouth. She already had a headache from tears shed earlier in the evening. She knew Nadia wouldn't want her mourning her; would prefer instead for her to remember the good times. First of all however she needed to erase the image of what she'd seen on that beach. Looking at the photo was helping, she needed it to tether her and stop her going to that dark place in her mind she was afraid she wasn't going to escape from the first few days after it happened.

Amanda returned and sat beside her placing a grey wool cardigan around her shoulder.

"Better?"  
"Yeah, thanks"

Amanda looked at the photo Erin was holding.

"She was beautiful"  
"She was. God I hate talking about her in the past tense but yeah she was one of the good ones. When I met her first I knew she wasn't like the girls we usually bust for prostitution. Sure she was mouthy, serious attitude but she had a sensibility about her that most of the working girls didn't possess. She knew the system, she'd been in foster care, knew her rights, wasn't going to turn on her pimp – knew the consequences. There was just something about her. I can't explain it fully. Antonio saw it too. Said she was either gona be a real pain in our ass or she was gona get off the streets and make something of herself"

"And you helped her do the latter"  
"Naw she did it all on her own"  
"You and I both know that's not true. You helped her get to where she was in life. There was every chance she'd have ended up making her living on the streets permanently if you hadn't stepped in"  
"Yeah and look where it got her" Erin stood, her body tense as she paced. "Maybe she would have been better off staying on the streets"  
"You know that's not true Erin. We both see every day what working girls go through, the pain they suffer. There's every chance she would have met the same fate if she stayed hooking"  
"Is that meant to be a reassuring pep talk"  
"No. It's meant to be honest. There's one thing I know you hate and that's lies and I can't lie to you anyway. I know you know what I just said is true, even if it's hard to accept right now"

"So it was just fate that she ended up dead?"

"No it wasn't fate, it was a sick bastard with a penchant for young dark haired women. Hell he could have gotten you that night you met"  
"Halstead is a good shot, he wouldn't have gotten me"  
"No and he was angry about that. He chose the next best thing – the thing he knew was going to hurt you and your team the most – someone you all loved dearly"

Erin continued to pace but she slowed to look at the blue eyes staring at her.

"I know; I know you're right. It's just… it's just a mess in my head right now"

She jumped as the doorbell rang then took a calming breath as she remembered the take-out was due.

Amanda stood giving her shoulder a squeeze as she went to retrieve the food.

Erin grabbed the plates and cutlery and hastily set the table. She grabbed two beers from the fridge and placed them in the middle of the table.

The smell of food made her tummy rumble. It was then she realised she hadn't eaten since Amanda made her eat some cereal at 8 a.m. She decided it was probably best not to tell the other detective that lest she quit her job to babysit her full time.

Amanda placed the food cartons on the table and they helped themselves.

"So how was your day?" Erin asked after a few mouthfuls of noodles to sate her objecting tummy.

"Eugh… long, so long. I thought it was never gona end. Spent four hours trying to figure out if the guy I was interviewing knew a couple of important things like English and his first name. When we got those two things out of him he finally realised we were taking it seriously and demanded a lawyer in suddenly acquired completely perfect English. He was still waiting on one when I left"

"Sounds like a guy a few weeks back. Kept speaking Spanish, like it isn't a second language for half the CPD. I left Antonio to deal with him"

Amanda held up her beer bottle for a toast "to the wonders of a multi-lingual world".

Erin smiled, and for the first time Amanda saw some of the light she was so used to seeing in her green eyes return.

"How are the guys?"  
Erin cleared her throat and suddenly became very interested in the food on her plate.

"Sorry I didn't mean to…"  
"No, it's ok. I just… I've been trying not to think too much about them. I got a text from Ruzek earlier with an update. Nothing new. Everyone is still pretty zoned out"

"Understandable"

"I used to think what if… you know in our job there's a higher than possible chance something like this… that we'd lose someone… but not like that"

"I can't imagine"

Erin nodded lifting her head to stare into the blue eyes so full of concern.

"But you've been amazing"

"I'm always gona be here Erin"

Erin stood and rounded the table, met seconds later by the New York detective who stood as she reached for her hand.

"I really really need to touch you"; the young woman's words were full of desire. Amanda simply nodded and allowed Erin to lead the way to her bedroom. She had decided the day Erin arrived that she wouldn't question her actions, simply follow instructions and do anything she asked.

At the bedroom door Erin claimed Amanda's lips in a passionate kiss, her tongue strong and insistent as it passed Amanda's lips, both emitting a moan as they began to reach to remove clothes. They aided each other where necessary but Erin did most of the work, urging Amanda back towards the bed by pressing her body up against hers.

Falling on the bed Erin did her best to lift some of her bodyweight off the woman under her by balancing on her forearms.

Moving up slightly so they were fully on the bed their eyes caught sight of each other the lamplight illuminating concern, worry, desire.

"I'm ok, honest" Erin leaned in to reassure Amanda further with a deep probing kiss.

Her voice sent a shiver down Amanda's spine as she spoke softly into her ear "I need to touch you so badly"

Amanda moaned as she felt Erin's hand travel down her body and skate the top of the only garment she had left on, black satin briefs.

Amanda hissed and Erin smiled at the reaction she elicited as she cupped the other woman's heated sex.

"You need something baby?"

"Hmm… let me see" Amanda pushed forward and claimed the other woman's lips as she unbalanced her slightly.

Erin moaned as she felt hands cup both of her breasts as she repositioned herself in Amanda's lap.

"These are a good start" Amanda continued to knead firm high breasts as she claimed a small spot on Erin's collarbone, sucking hard and raking her teeth over the skin, leaving a small mark as she teased her nipples with her thumbs.

Kissing across her collarbone first, she moved to her throat and then over the other collarbone leaving a matching mark on the other side.

Reclaiming her lips Amanda pulled Erin further into her lap holding onto her hips as she continued kissing her.

"Change of plan" Erin's voice was low and husky.

Amanda removed her hands straight away a look of panic on her face.

"No, no, not that sort of change" Erin grabbed Amanda's hands and put them back on her hips.

Amanda looked confused but held Erin against her as she began to grind against her thigh. She smiled as she realised what the change of plan was.

"Mand sweets you're gona need to touch me soon, this is…. ah yes… this is… good…. But I need you…"

Amanda didn't hesitate a moment more, moving her hand underneath the thin fabric of Erin's purple underwear, feeling the wetness that was just starting to coat the cotton. Pushing the panties past her hips Erin took a moment to lift herself out of Amanda's lap and remove them before repositioning herself so she was no longer straddling one of her thighs but both affording the blonde easier access to where she desperately needed her.

Amanda claimed her lips in a kiss that drew most of the breath from her lungs, the last bit disappeared as she entered her with two fingers, moving gently at first making sure she was wet enough to take her. She moaned loudly as Amanda curled her fingers so she could angle her thumb to her clit with firm strokes while finding the spot inside her that made her go weak at the knees.

"Fuck…. Yes…. Yes"

Amanda took from that reaction that she'd found what she was looking for and redoubled her efforts increasing the pace of her fingers and hardening the strokes on Erin's clit. She felt the build up of wetness as it began to coat her fingers and knuckles, the woman on top of her moving erratically as she built up to her tipping point, a point Amanda loved to watch, when all her inhibitions fell away and her defences came down as she let loose. She'd never felt more in awe than she did when she watched Erin cum.

And just as she thought it, it happened. The muscles of Erin's vagina closed around her fingers, ceasing strongly as the orgasm washed over her.

She was completely unguarded and Amanda thought it was the most stunning sight she'd ever seen.

She didn't have long to think however, her fingers remained inside Erin as she felt the other woman's fingers travel under her underwear, not giving her time to remove it as she began to circle her clit fast and hard with her index finger. Amanda was already so wet and so close that she knew it wasn't going to take much. Erin saw it in her face as she entered her swiftly with two fingers finding her clit with her thumb simultaneously.

Amanda ground down hard, leaning forward slightly into Erin's body as she began to lose any semblance of control she had left. The orgasm hit her hard and quick, knocking the breath out of her lungs as she came, panting against Erin's shoulder.

They stayed inside each other, holding each other, for minutes. It seemed like much longer as they basked in the afterglow of what always occurred when they were together.

"Fuck me, you're getting good at that"

Erin smiled as she slowly began to remove her fingers, Amanda following a few seconds later her voice sultry as she moved to lie down, brining Amanda with her; "I've got a good teacher"

Amanda laughed as she snuggled into the embrace of the other woman.

"I think we're learning a lot from each other"

Erin was silent as she stroked her fingers up and down Amanda's bare back.

"I'm gona have to go back in a few days"  
"I'll come with you"  
"No, you don't have to Mand"  
"I already okayed it with Liv"  
"How did you…? Wait you told her?"

Amanda's response was a quiet "yes" into her neck.

"Is she… I mean how… wow fuck that must have been awkward"  
"Not really. Liv knows me. She knows I don't trust easy. Her exact words were "I'm happy for you and Lindsay. Just don't go breaking each other's hearts"

"Nadia knew as well. She was really happy for us"  
"I'm glad she knew. She was a good kid. I just wish I'd known her better. But I know how much she meant to you so I know she was a decent person"

Erin sighed as she pulled Amanda closer to her.

"I'm gona plant a tree in her honour in a small forest close to where we used to hang out when she first came out of rehab. We used to spend hours there just watching the world go by. She said the drugs had messed her up so much she forgot to appreciate life"  
"That sounds like a beautiful thing to do. I'll help you pick the tree"  
"I'd like you to come with me and plant it if you don't mind?"  
"Of course not" Amanda placed a quick kiss on half smiling lips. "I told you, I'm always gona be here"

Erin reached for her cell phone, which was on the bedside locker and flicked through her music library looking for a song. She pressed play and placed the phone back on the locker. Lego House by Ed Sheeran began to play.

"It was one of her favourite songs. I'd never heard of it but I was sick of it after a week of her playing it continuously in the apartment. Now…" a silent tear ran down Erin's cheek as she kissed the top of Amanda's head. She moved down so they were side by side in the bed and wrapped her arms around the taller woman's waist pulling her into an embrace as Amanda wiped the tear from her cheek.

"Don't ever leave, you hear me?"  
"Never baby I promise"  
"I love you" – it was the first time either of them had uttered the words but in her heart Erin knew it was true. She'd also learned over the last few days that life was too short not to tell people how you feel.

"I love you too" came the instant reply from the woman in her arms. Small kisses were exchanged as they lay in each other's arms, stroking skin and listening to the music fill the room

"_And if it's dark in a cold December,  
I've got ya to keep me warm  
and if you're broken then I will mend ya  
and keep you sheltered from the storm that's raging on, now"_

x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x

**A/N If they do another crossover and these two get some screen time I can work with there may be a Molly's 3. In the meantime I'll leave it here! **


End file.
